LETTERS
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Contents © 2001
by Jim Holman.
All rights reserved.
LETTERS
SEPTEMBER 2001
NICOLOSI RESPONDS
This letter is in response to Mr. Malak's challenges to the concepts of Reparative Therapy for homosexuality [see "Questions For Nicolosi", Letters, July/August Mission]. Rather than answer each of his 36 detailed questions, I think it best to answer with a review of general principles.
Many of Mr. Malak's questions focus on heterosexual performance, but I have found the central problem in homosexuality not to be about sexual function with a woman. It is well known that many satisfied gay men can function sexually with a woman. The problem is the lack of emotional satisfaction. Surprisingly, the "mechanics" of intercourse are no longer a problem once the emotional conflicts have been resolved.
The therapeutic task is trust of women; to resolve fear, anger, and hurts remaining from their relationship with the mother which have been transferred to all women. From that, sexual function will come naturally -- as, indeed, it is natural! The problem is in establishing a deep and satisfying emotional relationship; to feel like a man with a woman.
Mr. Malak's emphasis on sexual performance reminds us of the earlier and often unsuccessful Freudian psychoanalytic attempts to treat homosexuality as a sexual problem. In recent years, the therapeutic focus has moved away from sex to personal identity. We understand homosexuality to be a gender identity problem. If a man feels himself to be a man, he will function with a woman as a man. When he truly feels like a man, he no longer desires to have sex with another man.
Many of my patients move on to emotional and sexually satisfying marital relationships. To support my clinical observations, Dr. Robert Spitzer found, in his recent study, that 200 men and women experienced a significant shift from homosexual to heterosexual attraction, and sustained this shift for at least five years.
Reparative Therapy does not encourage sexual behavior. It doesn't need to. The diminishing of same-sex attractions naturally opens the door to a relationship with a woman. When men with homosexual backgrounds explain their transition to marriage, they do so in three steps: first friendship, then affection, then sexual expression of that affection. In this sense, the homosexually oriented man is quite different, in the way he relates to women, from the "ever straight"; i.e., the heterosexual man is first sexually attracted to a woman, and afterward he learns to see her as a person and a friend.
I have encountered many women who are willing to develop a relationship and work toward marriage with a man with a homosexual background. Certainly this is a risk for any woman. As with any marriage, failures will happen and problems always arise. But openness and honesty established at the onset of the relationship can usually address the difficulties as they arise.
The woman who has become emotionally involved with a man who has a homosexual past must become educated as to the nature of his problem. She must come to understand his early family background -- typically with a distant, detached, and/or critical father; the close, binding, over-involved mother; his alienation from his same-sex peers. Perhaps early same-sex molestation was involved as well. Finally, she will need reasonable assurance that his "detour" into gay sex is a thing of the past, a misdirected attempt to connect with the lost masculinity within himself. Lastly, both he and she must realize that honest communication is essential for marital success.
While the principles of Reparative Therapy are not religiously based and are in accordance with standard practices of psychology, my own advice to clients is in accord with my own Catholicism.
For more information, please see the NARTH web site, www.narth.com.
Publications: Nicolosi, J. (1991). Reparative Therapy of Male Homosexuality: A New Clinical Approach. New York: Jason Aronson. Nicolosi, J. (1993). Healing Homosexuality: Case Stories of Reparative Therapy. New York: Jason Aronson. Nicolosi, et al., "Beliefs and Practices of Therapists who Practice Sexual Reorientation Psychotherapy," Psychological Reports (April 2000). Nicolosi, et al., "Retrospective Self-Reports of Changes in Homosexual Orientation: A Consumer Survey of Conversion Therapy Clients," Psychological Reports (June 2000).
Joseph Nicolosi, Ph.D.
NOT SO MONOLITHIC
Since your readership learned in the June issue that there is substantial hope for change for those with a homosexual orientation, I would hope that you'd publish the study spoken of by Dr. Robert Spitzer at the American Psychiatric Association in May at their annual conference in New Orleans. This would be a real service to your readership -- faith, hope, and charity all wrapped up in one package. This information I believe is most positive and should be the thrust for our Church's efforts to show that both prayer and practical action can work hand in hand to resolve some of the moral problems that come from such a sexual orientation.
I believe that there is abroad spectrum of theological thought in the Catholic Church. I do remember a time when Bishop Wright of Pittsburgh said the predominant virtue of the Church is obedience and purity. However, I don 't find that the Catholic bishops conference have emphasized that. In fact, I no longer believe, as I did as a child, that the Church is monolithic in all of its thought processes. I am sure that you are aware that Jacques Maritain in his writings advised the philosophers that studied under him that in the search for the truth we often go through the fog. The objectivity that we seek is not as clear initially. There are writings of the Church that indicate how conscience does play a part in determining the morality of our actions. By making these statements, I do not wish to imply that I support the hedonistic position of those persons who believe that we can do as we feel.
However, I have a feeling that in the broad spectrum of Church philosophy we will grow in terms of the essence of our faith, which is love. And, in accomplishing that growth, we will see our membership, coming from different perspectives with the guidance of the Holy Spirit's infallible teaching, will accomplish the journey to our ultimate end, which is the Kingdom of God. We will achieve what God has ordained for us if we seek his grace. In "spirit and in truth" we will focus on God's love and place dogma in its proper place.
Thomas M. Whaling,
Lake Forest
Editor's note: To steal a metaphor from G.K. Chesterton -- the proper place of dogma, defined here as orthodoxy, or "right teaching," is to act as sort of a wall or hedge enclosing a garden in which the cardinal virtues and the divine virtues of hope and charity might flourish, like so many luxuriant plants. Without that wall or hedge, they would be destroyed.
PART OF THE PROBLEM
Regarding a letter by Monsignor John V. Sheridan attacking the Mission as "ecclesiastical pornography" that appeared in the June 2001 issue in the paper -- thank God that the laity have a newspaper which exposes the doctrinal errors taught by some or our clergy. If we ignore these errors we become part of the problem.
It should be noted that Monsignor Sheridan was quoted in the Los Angeles Times in the 80s as saying: "Catholics who are unable to accept the papal teaching on birth control may follow their own consciences, but do so quietly."
For the layman to consider his conscience superior to the magisterial teaching of the Church is dangerous. If we do not accept all the teachings of the Church, we cannot in truth call ourselves Catholic. The catechism states, "one must not follow either an erroneous or doubtful conscience, but only a conscience that is informed and morally enlightened."
Betty Belting,
Northridge
-ESS IS ENGLISH
Letters such as Kathleen Cromar's (July/August Mission) always make me smile. From the spelling of the title of his column to the final references to coffee and doughnuts after Mass, Charles Coulombe often makes salient points with his tongue firmly implanted in his cheek -- as any reader with an ounce of literary depth would realize.
In addition, Ms Cromar's "incrediable offense" at the term lectoress is completely unwarranted. My dictionary, an old Oxford English Dictionary, reads as follows: "-ESS. form denoting female persons or animals as in authoress, actress, etc." What would Cromar do with Catholic terms such as "mistress of novices," "prioress" or "abbess"?
Perhaps Ms Cromar, and her ilk, should consider any offense they might feel at Coulombe's choice of vocabulary as just balance for the fury I feel every time I attend Mass and have to endure "inclusive language" imposed upon me by a disobedient priest or his lector -- or his lectoress.
Thomas Hogan,
Long Beach
"ROAMIN' CATHOLIC" GOOD FOR SOMETHING
I hope you will continue to publish the column, "Roamin' Catholic." I have now come to see that, if one ignore the columnist's arrogance and sarcasm, this column is a good source of information about how well various local churches are growing in the spirit of Vatican II in their participation in celebration of the Eucharist. The column in your July/August issue is a good case in point.
The description of the Eucharist at Padre Serra Church in Camarillo shows that the people there are quite aware that they are assembled as a family and as the Body of Christ and, just as they celebrate Thanksgiving in their personal homes, they gather around the table of the Eucharist to celebrate their thanksgiving meal in memory of Christ's death, resurrection and ascension.
The column also reveals that foresight was used in the planning of the church layout by creating a Eucharistic chapel accessible at all times so as to insure that there would be no concern about intruding on a regular celebration of the Eucharist, a Eucharist for a wedding or a funeral, or any other sacrament in the main worship space. In so doing, they have also assured that those using the Eucharistic chapel for personal prayer, meditation or reflection before the Blessed Sacrament will not be annoyed by the activity, dialogue, music or singing that accompany activity in the main part of the church.
This is indeed good news.
Fred J. O'Brien,
Woodland Hills
CLARIFICATION, PLEASE
When I wrote Mr. Zehnder regarding his article, I sure didn't expect it to end up as a "letter to the editor." In reading it in print, and your following comments, I realize I edited the sense right out of it. The point of my letter was the misuse of the word "celibate" and how it is interchanged with the word "chaste." This is especially confusing when they are interchanged in the same article and the subject is "unchaste priests" (who can only break their vow of celibacy by getting married).
It annoys me when a secular journalist interchanges these words, or obviously doesn't know the definition of celibate, but when I see this abuse in Catholic journals and by Catholic priests, I get a little crazy.
For the life of me I don't understand your sentence: "For homosexuals, of course, chastity must mean celibacy. abstention from genital acts; our point was that it was not clear from what Coleman said that he understood chastity for homosexuals in this way." So, are you saying that your understanding of celibacy is abstinence from genital acts?
I need a clarification, please.
Margaret Hernandez,
Fair Oaks
Editor's note: Perhaps your letter appeared in print because, in writing to Mr. Zehnder, you were writing to the editor, for they are one and the same person. My apologies, for I did not realize you were writing to me as a writer, not as the editor.
The word "chastity," in English, can mean either an abstention from marriage (for the sake, in part, of abstaining from genital acts), or it can mean abstention from genital acts simply. I used it in the latter sense. Both senses are valid.
WHAT DOES YOUR HOUSE COST?
After reading your article "Foxes Have Holes, Birds of the Air Have Nests, but..." by Maggie Garcia [July/August Mission], I thought it might be interesting to list the value of other bishops' residences in California, and perhaps some of the rectories of priests for comparison. And it would also be valuable for us all if we had an idea of what homes of lay persons are in the Los Angeles/San Bernardino area. Perhaps after telling us the price of Bishop Barnes' home, Maggie Garcia could share the value of her own home with us? Perhaps we could get an idea of the value of the offices and property of the Mission?
I live in Ventura. Not far from our rectory tract homes are being offered for $450,000. I am amazed at the cost of these, as they are so close to each other and overlook a freeway. I would probably be astounded by the cost to build our rectory today, let alone the value of the property it sits on. And I am sure that if one looked at the cost of the cardinal archbishop's residence in Los Angeles one would be amazed. And then there's the question, "I wonder how valuable the pope's residence is...." Just a few questions. Does anyone know? Is Bishop Barnes to be singled out and made an example of? Or should we all not look at our homes and wonder? In 20 years as a priest I have lived in several rectories. I doubt that any of them would sell for under $500,000 on today's market. I certainly couldn't afford to buy one. Should they all be sold and the money given to the poor?
Rev. John W. Higgins
Associate Pastor,
Sacred Heart Catholic Church,
Ventura
WAY OFF BASE
Usually I am not compelled to write you. However, your article on the Religious Education of our young Catholics in Los Angeles was way off base.
A simple check of enrollment numbers at any Los Angeles public school with a large Latino population, a check of the numbers of families registered in the local parishes, and then the enrollment figures in religious education classes will indicate huge differences. So far, your theory holds up.
However, upon closer inspection, (usually done by interviewing people), you will find that, many Latino parishioners simply don't send their children to religious education classes. They return to Mexico to receive the sacraments. In many Mexican communities, Confirmation is done at the time of Baptism. Thus, among many Latino families, the need for religious education is not understood.
This has nothing to do with the thrust of your article -- but is much closer to the reality faced by those dedicated Catholics trying to pass on the Catholic faith. In this case it is parental responsibility -- not some grand anti-traditional Catholic values coalition that is causing the downturn in enrollment.
William Cinnamon
North Hollywood, CA
Editor's note: In the article to which (I think) you refer, "Kind of in The Spirit of Vatican II," about Call to Action, I alluded only to one sense in which it might be said that so many faithful in the archdiocese are, in Cardinal Mahony's words, "barely catechized." If the Cardinal allows, as he does, heterodox speakers to address a congress held to educate religious education teachers, then one can well wonder if these teachers are teaching the true Catholic faith. If they are not, then even those who attend CCD or RCIA are, indeed, "barely catechized" -- at least in the true Catholic faith.
DROP THE SISTER
I am deeply pained when I see or hear men who have received the Sacrament of Holy Orders, or women who have professed solemn vows to God in a religious order, publicly embrace heresy and dissent, and still have the gall to refer to themselves as "Father" this or "Sister" that.
You see, the titles of father and sister carry with them a cachet of Catholic legitimacy, even when those sporting these titles have essentially abandoned the Magisterium of the Church they purport to belong to. This is deceptive on its face, gives the Catholic Church a black eye, and leads God only knows how many uncatechized faithful down the road to heterodoxy and disbelief.
Imagine my dismay, then, to see the front page of your July/August issue emblazoned with a picture of that notorious dissenter Joan Chittister, with the title "Sister" adorning her name yet. I think the time has come to stop validating the notion that dissenters, such as Chittister, are nuns in good standing with the Catholic Church. She may be in good standing with Cardinal Mahony or Call to Action, but in my view she certainly does not represent the Catholic Church.
I therefore urge you to simply stop referring to dissenters by the title "father", "sister", (or "bishop", for that matter.) Simply call her Joan Chittister. If you must append a title to her name, at least put it in quotation marks.
Angela Castaneda,
Los Angeles
IT IS A SPECIAL SIN
I very much appreciate your response to my last letter in the June Mission. Thank-you. I wish to respond to your statement, "I don't see why we should give homosexuality a special status apart from other moral disorders."
My first thought was to return to the Catholic Catechism to again read, with prayer, numbers 2357, 2358, and 2359, all concerning the Roman Catholic Church's views and teachings on homosexuality. From number 2357, I gleaned: "Its psychological genesis remains largely unexplained."
The answer would be that a person in a weakened psychological framework, especially children whose needs for love are not met, can easily become a target which Satan becomes aware of. By subtle means, the enemy latches onto the person in his/her weakened state and feeds him/her doubts about his/her own sexuality.
Slowly and surely, and with centuries of experience behind him, he and his minions work covertly due to the shame attached to homosexual yearnings, to convince the person, step by step, that he/she is not like others. Over time. and sometimes quickly, the enemy gets him/her to accept an aberration of his/her sexuality -- which in this case would be either the gay (male) or lesbian (female) condition. The enemy then continually feeds as much condoning of the thoughts and emotions and physical acts of the homosexual lifestyle as he can to his new prey. Through this way, Satan continues his hate-filled battle against the perfection of God's creation.
From number 2358, I gleaned: "They do not choose their homosexual condition; for most of them it is a trial." With that statement, I am very much in agreement in that most people at the outset would not choose to be in the homosexual state.
And from number 2359, I gleaned: "By the virtues of self-mastery that teach them inner freedom, at times by the support of disinterested friendship, by prayer and sacramental grace, they" (people in the homosexual condition) "can and should gradually and resolutely approach Christian perfection."
I would love to have seen specific reference made to the delivering power of the Holy Spirit Who will through Christ, when we are in agreement with Him, set us free from whatever sins beset us and from whatever powers the Enemy is exercising over us, and Who is most willing to teach us spiritual warfare as needed. I find it very curious that no mention of even the possibility that satanic oppression is at the root of homosexuality is brought up here with any clarity.
Back to number 2358 for the special status consideration. Concerning "for most of them it is a trial": I would say that the fact it is a trial and that it is consistently ongoing, shows a clear difference between the internal condition within the whole person who is suffering in the homosexual condition, whether or not he/she commits homosexual sins, and the usually temporary internal condition of the person in the state of adultery, fornication, lying, etc. The types of oppression are very different.
One is in the state of adultery when one commits that sin through thoughts, actions -- but that condition is removed through forgiveness of sin when sought. Whereas, the condition or state of homosexuality is not removed when the acts of homosexual sin are forgiven. The Difference! That alone makes it a very different state of moral disorder.
If the condition of homosexuality was completely removed in the godly person, no desire to do the homosexual acts could remain and no temptation to commit them could ever again be successful. Whereas, the desires to be in other morally disordered states are not dependent upon such a complete aberration of God's creation and could occur from time to time depending upon one's life with God.
So, homosexuality should be given a separate status apart from all other moral disorders because it deals with our very being. We are male or female. There is no in between, no matter how hard some people work to make it be so. Jesus Christ's human nature was created MALE. Along with God's Work in Genesis, Jesus Christ's coming in the flesh as a human male is a clear statement that we are created male or female; that we are meant by our Creator to be one or the other; that our sexuality is to be male or female.
Claudia-Marie Person,
Sacramento